


The first times but certainly no the last.

by smallbump



Category: Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 03:19:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1154150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallbump/pseuds/smallbump
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The heating in Phil’s apartment stopped working, Dan is cold and they share beds and secrets and eventually, each other’s hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The first times but certainly no the last.

It was on a Saturday night they shared beds for the first time. The heating had stopped working and the entire apartment was freezing cold. Dan had walked around with a duvet around his body the entire day and well, Phil had done pretty much the same. They had been tucked in as closely as they possibly could while watching TV so sleeping in the same bed wouldn't be that weird.  
Dan hated sleeping on the couch when he visited. And they each had their own duvet so it wouldn’t be weird at all.

He got up from the couch, duvet wrapped around him and a pillow in hand; he walked over to Phil's bedroom and pushed the opened door wider.

"Phil?" He hissed. "Phil, you awake?"

Not a sound. He stepped inside and could instantly hear the loud breathing from his friend.  
The tiny light that came through the curtains helped Dan locate his way to Phil's bed without stepping on anything.  
By now, Phil never bothered to clean before Dan visited. When Dan pointed it out the first time he noticed it, Phil only shrugged and said "it's just you," which was both endearing and confusing. But Dan didn't mind the mess, not at all. It was Phil. And Dan wanted to know everything about him, including all the messes. He was starting to see the real, honest Phil, his entire personality shining through more and more whenever they hung out. Dan liked that, because it made him show his entire personality too, and he wanted that.  
To be completely comfortable and himself with someone – with Phil.

He stood beside Phil’s bed, knees pressed to the bedframe, it was cold. He put the pillow beside Phil’s and bit his lip before whispering again, "Phil, I'm cold."  
Not even the tiniest reaction came.

His feet became colder and colder for every second. Dan contemplated his decision first; would Phil really mind? They were extremely close. Maybe even too close. Sharing beds should be no big deal, and again, Dan has his own duvet and his own pillow. It's fine.

"Please don't freak out when you wake up," he whispered as he lied down beside the sleeping boy. "Night, Phil."  
He didn’t dare lie face to face with Phil, so he turned his back to the older and tucked himself in comfortably, holding the duvet tightly in his hands. Dan fell asleep quicker than he had ever done before.

 

The next day Dan woke up in a warm bed next to a warm body with a warm arm thrown over his chest. The moment between thinking it was the best thing to wake up to and realising whose body was so warm and close to his felt like it was shorter than a second. His eyes opened wide but he didn't dare to turn over and face Phil. Was he even awake? Dan listened, his breaths sounded like he was sleeping. Realising he actually knew whether Phil was awake or not based on his breathing paralyzed Dan completely. How fast were they moving? It certainly felt like they were way past the speed limit now. Or at least Dan was. Slowly, he glanced over to his left, only to be confirmed that he was indeed correct, Phil was sleeping peacefully beside him. Did he know he had an arm around Dan's torso? Did he know they shared duvets?

(When did that happened?! Dan is certain he tucked himself in with his own.)

When he was sure Phil wasn’t going to wake up any time soon, he allowed himself to keep his eye on him. Only after a while did he realise the tiny smile forming on Phil's face.  
He wondered what the older was dreaming.

"Oh, Dan! Uuh, morning?" Phil squinted his eyes while looking at Dan, the sunlight slipping through was much brighter now than when Dan and stumbled in at 2am last night. He hadn't realised this morning, he was too busy freaking out. But it seemed like it was for nothing.

Dan began to apologize, moving fleetly away from Phil, his arm fell on the mattress, "Sorry, it was just so cold in the living room, I promised I had my own duvet but I don't know what happened with that one and-"

"Sure, your own duvet..." Phil didn't move, his arm was still outstretched, and half his face buried in the pillow.

"No I swear Phil! I can get up if this is too weird, I'm sorry," Dan turned over and was met by his own duvet rolled up beside him. He felt himself getting warmer on his cheeks and they were probably bright pink by now, his body only got colder, goose bumps made their way over his arms and legs.  
This had been a bad, awful, terrible idea.

What if it ruined their friendship, potential relationship? Dan was moving too fast, he really was.

What if Phil didn't feel the same?

What if-

Phil's hand grabbed his arm as Dan sat up, and now he really had goose bumps all over his body.

"C'mere," Phil suggested quietly, his thumb stroking the skin softly. Dan let himself be pulled back and the same arm wrapped around his torso again, it dragged his body to move to the side, they lied face to face. Phil's fingers carelessly stroked Dan's spine.

"Let's start over," he said.

Dan frowned, "What?"

"Morning, bear."

"Morning," Dan blushed.

Telling Phil about his old nicknames was a bad idea. He'd never hear the end of it now. But it wasn't too bad, when Phil said it, it sounded like the cute nickname it was and not embarrassing like when his Nan said it. So maybe he wasn’t going to be mad about Phil calling him bear.

"Can I confess something?" 

Phil nodded.

Dan's eyes shifted from Phil's lips to his eyes and to his lips to his eyes again, he swallowed hard, but had no time to say anything as he felt Phil's lips against his, they pressed lightly and only for a brief moment but it made Dan even warmer than he possible could be.

(The heating must be back on.)

"That wasn't actually what I had in mind but I have wanted that too," Dan mirrored Phil's smiling face.

"Then what?"

"I always sleep the best whenever I'm at your place, and even better tonight."

Phil’s left hand found a lock in Dan’s hair and twirled it around one of his fingers, he continued to smile, "Me too. I always sleep better when we’ve been on the phone before I go to bed, but- Uhm, even better when you’re here.” 

He let go of Dan’s hair and his hand fell on the pillow, so Dan took the opportunity to take his hand in his, intertwining their fingers briefly. There was something about Phil that made Dan feel comfortable being so close to one another, he didn’t want personal space when he was with Phil and now when he had the chance to be as close to Phil as he possibly could manage, he would take it. Even if it was just holding hands, it was at least something. Dan thought about it a lot. It was a simple thing that meant so much. Love, commitment, trust.

“I’m gonna kiss you again,” he uttered while moving closer.

Phil’s hand that was around Dan’s waist pulled him in, “I won’t stop you,” he said low and as Dan pushed himself onto Phil, he was being dragged up upon Phil’s body. Dan felt content, because they couldn’t be closer than this, both in mind and physically.

 

\---

 

It was on a Sunday that they held hands in public, for real, for the first time. It didn’t occur to Dan that they were until when he stood in line at the tiny grocery shop at the train station, and when he was about to grab his wallet, another hand was in the way. His eyes fell down on his hand, Phil’s in his; he looked up at Phil with questioning eyes.

“When did that happen?” He mumbled with a short, nervous laugh following and he let go of Phil’s hand. It instantly felt weird, even though it had been the first time they had held hands, it obviously felt more natural than not holding hands – since he hadn’t even realised they did in the first place.

“Like, the moment after I locked the door. You didn’t realise?”

Dan blushed, muttered a quiet “No,” and tried his hardest not to smile like a lovesick fool.  
It was his time to pay so Phil never got the time to mock him for it; maybe it was for the best. Whenever Dan was being the sweeter of them, Phil liked to tease him about it for hours or days even. He would never hear the end of it if he ever told Phil he loved him or something like that.

They decided to get something to eat before Dan had to get on the train and stepped in to the nearest Subway they could find. It was by far the quietest meal they had ever had together, and Dan was slowly but surely going mental.

“Do we have to talk about this morning?” Dan pondered, taking a bite of his sub.

“Do we?” Phil talked in a small voice, while eating his sub. “I mean,” he continued after a while, “I don’t see a problem in what we did or where it will lead?”  
Dan offered a smile, “No, me neither. I’m completely fine with it.”

And just like that they talked about it anyway and it wasn’t scary at all. Phil leaned forward over the table and placed a quick kiss on Dan’s lips, because that’s what they do now, apparently. Because they’re not just friends now, they’re… dating? They- like each other. Dan had to take a few moments thinking about this.

“Did we just have the deepest conversation ever in Subway on a train station?”

Dan looked up at Phil, “I think we did.”

 

When Dan had to get to his train, letting go of Phil's hand seemed like the most impossible thing ever. His fingers traced over Phil's for a long time as they stood on the platform awkwardly waiting for his train to come.

"I don't want to go," he mumbled, facing down at their hands. Dan always had a hard time saying goodbye to Phil after a weekend but this was nothing like it.  
Because now, Phil wasn't just his friend. He was more than a friend now, whatever that may be. Phil squeezed their hands tight together and brought him in for a hug, the train was entering the platform, "I don't want you to go either."

Passengers came and went by them, moving fast along the platform. Dan had to leave in only minutes. He couldn't afford to miss this train, no matter how much he wanted to.  
There was so much he wanted to say but he had no words, his mind was a blur. Phil wouldn't hear him anyway; the noise around them was too loud. They were still hugging, now with both arms fully embracing one another.

Usually their hugs only lasted for a brief moment, a quick hug with the pat on the back was more them. Used to be them, now they were minute-long-hugs and handholding. And kissing. Phil's lips were a bit dry, but warm. It didn't last long but long enough.

"Bye, Phil."

Phil gave him an awkward wave, "Bye Danbear," he said sweetly, giving Dan a short smile before frowning sadly.

Dan waved back and went inside the train. He searched lazily for his seat, sighing heavily once he got there. As soon as he had put his bags away, he brought up his phone.

Three text messages from Phil were already showing up on his screen.

_'Missing you'_

_'Have a nice train journey'_

_'Call me I miss you'_

Dan leaned back in his seat and smiled to himself. This had been a great weekend, one of the best. He phoned Phil and didn't stop smiling, he smiled even bigger once he heard Phil's voice from the other end; “Hey Danbear.”


End file.
